Although the idea itself is excellent, I think this suffers from not having a real ending. It sort of peters out. I think it would improve if you had placed the fall of the Towers near the end rather than near the beginning. But the thought of a wizard who simply walks out because he has had it, and who deludes himself that the Muggle world will be less cruel than the wizarding one - and keeps deluding himself about that for years! - is really first-rate. I know this is frightful cheek, but do you think you could rewrite it?
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2009-10-22 02:54 pm (UTC)