swissmarg | Escort!Snape dressed as St. Nick, Eileen tutors Harry, and Rudolph the Patronus (Reply)

snapelyholidays has posted their list of participants and pledges for their upcoming fest. I am not participating, and I wouldn't normally pimp this fest otherwise, but I am intrigued by some of the pledges and looking forward to seeing how the entries pan out. I'm also trying to figure out what a fic would need to generate the largest donation. My suggestion:

Harry returns to Hogwarts for his missed seventh year. Snape survived, but did not return to Hogwarts. Snape is heartsick that Lupin was killed, as the two of them were in a relationship (yes, Lupin was two-timing Tonks). There needs to be at least one romantic flashback scene showing Snupin in a shower with Snape bottoming. Snape is now working as a 'paid escort', trying to forget about his past life. One of Snape's main clients is Nott, in whom Snape has found a friend of sorts, but Nott is still loyal to the DEs and is not kind to Snape, is obviously just using him and showing off how he has power over Voldemort's former right-hand man.

Harry needs someone to tutor him in Potions and asks Snape to. Snape doesn't want to be reminded of his former life, but suggests that his mother, Eileen, could tutor Harry. Eileen has a pet sheep that becomes quite attached to Harry whenever he goes to Eileen's house for tutoring. Harry finds out about Snape's troubles through Eileen and wants to help him.

He invites Snape to a Christmas party at Grimmauld Place, but Snape never responds. Harry tries everything he can to contact Snape but to no avail. Finally, desperate, on the day of the party he sends out his Patronus to bring Snape the message and get him to come. Nott is having a Christmas party and has insisted that Snape come dressed as St. Nicholas. Harry's Patronus, which has taken the form of Rudolph, crashes the party. For whatever reason, Snape gives in and follows the Patronus/Rudolph back to Grimmauld Place. There, he and Harry get together, with the aid of some of Kreacher's egg nog. Harry gets Snape off and he comes in his pants.

Snape realizes that he has been looking for love in all the wrong places. He quits his work as an escort and tries to straighten his life out. Harry gives him free reign of Grimmauld Place to set up a potions lab while Harry returns to Hogwarts to finish the school year. Nott tries to get Snape to come back to him, but Snape stands up for himself. Harry goes to Grimmauld often to see how Snape is doing. They end up in a happy, supportive romantic relationship.

So, let's see, that would generate...

$2 for Eileen
$3 + $5 + $5 + $5 for happy Snarry
$1 +$2 + $2 for Snape
$1 for Snape/former professor (Lupin)
$1 for sex in the shower
$1 + $1 for bottom!Snape
$1 for Snape in a non-traditional profession
$1 + $1 for Snape/Marauder
$5 for hooker!Snape
$1 for Death Eater who doesn't hurt anyone (physically anyway)
$1 for the pet sheep
$3 for Snape dressing up, plus $10 because he dresses up as St. Nicholas
$10 for the Rudolph Patronus
$1 for Snape coming in his pants

... which makes a whopping $63! I'd like to see anyone beat that.